This Christmas.

About 1:30 in the morning. Just got home from an evening of Family Guy, the Newsroom (great show!) and filling out PhD applications and briefs. And the weird thing is, it felt like any other night. Except it’s Christmas Eve. But with the absence of two key factors because these last three Christmases haven’t really felt like ‘Christmas’: weather and family.

            I’ve spent all my life having a white Christmas. Even if it wasn’t snow, it was damn near close with slush or sleet. Some Decembers it being so worse that my car door was frozen shut or you had to start the car an hour before leaving just to make it bearable to drive in. And so with these last three seasons, celebrating the holidays in 90-degree weather, shorts and a BBQ just doesn’t feel the same. It’s just not Christmas. Christmas is about shovelling the snow out of the driveway to make room for the relatives to park, going out and having snowball fights and even showing off your new toys to your friends. That’s definitely one thing I look forward to upon returning home, a white Christmas.

            The other is family. To me, Christmas isn’t about religion but instead coming together of family and in some cases even friends to celebrate the love, camaraderie and affection of close ones. Some of my friends have the ease of this love as families live just down the street or interstate. And others even have the luxury to travel home to Canada, the US and Germany to be with family on Christmas. I don’t have that luxury.

            So with this, I say cherish every moment that you get to spend with your family, no matter how annoying they may be. Because at the end of the day, they will always be there for you. Because they will be waiting for you at the terminal with open arms. Because somewhere in the world are homeless citizens just trying to eat on a Tuesday, soldiers in war just trying to survive another day or myself typing this at two in the morning to take a break from PhD research and reflect off the good times this year has given me.

 

And with that, from myself down here in Australia, I say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family.

Now I’m going to go watch Love Actually.

-H

The life?

Over the past 4 months, I did a complete 180 and forced myself to stop doing what friends/society wanted me to do and to start doing what I myself, wanted to do. I gave up on night club security because not only is it garbage, shit and employees are treated like numbers and not respected but also because the pay isn’t worth what one has to put up with on a nightly basis until 5am.

I have always had this hidden notion that because I spent 7 years studying criminal justice, law and mastering in criminology and crime prevention, that I needed to follow this road of government work, doing what is right and obeying the law at all times even if it was morally unacceptable. I’ve always been a believer that I would much rather love my job and make a mediocre living than hate my job but make a killing (my reason for coming to Australia in the first place).

My passion is entertainment and all things considered focusing mainly on music. A good friend of mine once asked me what my dream job was and I said without hesitation DJ. To be able to play music I love to someone in a way in which it gives him or her feel good attitudes and emotions has been something that has always kept its place at the back of my mind since 2005.

Becoming more engulfed in my own music, I also ventured out into the world of acting. At first, I felt it was something I needed to study up on, go to school and be tested about, but quickly realised I could gain all that knowledge by throwing myself into the industry head first. As of the writing of this blog and since getting into acting in July, I have been in two web commercials, 13 short films, 3 viral commercials, a music video and casted for two feature films being submitted to Cannes Film Festival, Tropfest, Toronto Film Festival and Melbourne Film Festival. All done by myself, without the use of an agent and over the course of three months while also studying and working on the side.

It has been exciting work and has given me the opportunity to showcase my personality and put my character through the ultimate test. Maybe it’s because I am a minority? Or maybe because I am an American accent among a population of 22 million Australians? Whatever the reason may be, it is working out extremely well and I am loving every minute of it.

And so the question again pops up asking: “what happens come December?”. I have always had this mentality to come back home in February after graduation but held off to continue doing my passion: traveling. And now, everyday I constantly re-hash my plan of going home for good in December to pursue other ventures: music and acting. I fear coming back home to the US, puts all that on hold (whether permanently or temporarily) and forces me to work in an industry that limits my passion, my free-spirit and my thinking. At the same time, staying here I can continue to find bigger and better roles while working part-time and re-focusing my attention on music. The only downside though is it’s a huge risk with JUST a part time job on the side (since I’m a foreigner). One that if it doesn’t pay off, leaves me thinking what have I truly been doing the past x amount of months/years. And this is the thought that scares me, not having the security of work but pursuing a passion and hoping it works out in the end.

I guess it is better to be 26 and enjoying life than what I constantly see everyday on Facebook statuses from friends from back home. Not having kids, being tied down by someone and being able to enjoy life and do the things I WANT to do is what makes my time here and my life so rewarding. But at the same time, I am continuously bogged down by when I am coming, how I am needed home and how I should just return home, as it’s been 2 years. At times, I feel instead of coming home for good, I should come home for a few weeks to feel if it is right for me or if it’s not my time yet. Maybe I’m scared to come back to the US? Or that doing so means it’ll be time to put everything else aside and start a career?

I seriously don’t know what I want in life or where I want to go with it. Whichever the path I choose, I cautiously hope to have the support of friends and family…

-H

Work>Travel

The feeling of disappointment washes over me like a child who doesn't receive that toy he's been asking Santa to give him on Christmas day. While most view traveling as a once in a lifetime opportunity and vacation, I view it as a new learning experience and a chance to keep me sane and from killing everyone around me (especially the stupid, arrogant and moronic group. You know who you are).

What I love about my current job is not only the fact that the pay/benefits is far, far better than previous jobs I held, but management and fellow employees don't treat each other like shit. There isn't a problem with drugs or staff hooking up with staff and that right there is an added bonus. Moreover, I am able to take time off or swap shifts so easily without having to fight for it or risk losing my job. Needless to say, taking a weekend off for New Zealand in March, a week for New Caledonia in May and a week off for Singapore in July is pretty lenient and amazing compared to what other employers would offer or say.

So it devastated me when I was told that I could not get the time off for Singapore July 24th-29th as this is the second week of classes at Griffith Uni and things would be a bit hectic until mid August. What I found annoying throughout the whole process of getting the time off, is we had booked this trip in March when I returned from New Zealand and while mentioning throughout that time that I needed it off, I was told to 'remind me as the time comes closer'. Unfortunately, as that time came closer, it was noticed I was attempting to leave during a busy time-frame. Whoops.

So I entertained the idea of quitting and going to Singapore before realising how stupid of a mistake that would be. To leave a job for a $250 flight or just eat the loss due to error and lack of checking dates? I chose the latter knowing that the trip will be waiting for me in August and as the semester proceeds into week 4, I can take more time off to add Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur), Indonesia (Jakarta) and perhaps Thailand (Bangkok) to the list over the course of 9-12 days. Plus I did not want to go through the same issues I did when I left for Japan back in November and returning without a job (and money).

But during this process it got me thinking, why I would resort to such an irrational choice of leaving a job to go experience 4 days of bliss only to come back to nothing? Probably because I'm stupid and crazy and when it comes to traveling, I absolutely love it. Or because I'm reaching that point where it's time for me to get out of town once again as the Gold Coast continues to diminish my faith in humanity.

Whatever the case may be, I will not be going to Singapore Jul 24th-July 29th but instead cancelling and going a few weeks later. I know, I know, this is devastating to all of you, but don't worry, I'll be in the air in no time and back to Asia for a 2nd round.

In the meantime,

Cheers and 再见！

-H

Public Transportation vs. Walking

For the past six months while working at Griffith University, something was reconfirmed to me that I have always known throughout my two years of being in Australia, public transportation in Australia is HORRIBLE. It may just be Queensland (aka Translink) or even just the Gold Coast, as I have yet to verify this with Sydney (New South Wales), Melbourne (Victoria) or even Brisbane (Queensland).

Not only do Translink services abruptly stop or Translink bus drivers blatantly miss stops or never show up to stops, but the fact that buses start running earlier/later at certain platforms than others is annoying. They don’t sync up! Moreover, with the Gold Coast being a predominantly tourist population, the system overall is always delayed as tourists are continually asking questions to drivers about what stop to get off of, how much the fare is, and what bus they would take to get to such and such destination.

Working at Griffith University in Southport is an easily fun and equally laid back job, getting to and from work though is a whole other story. For my journey to Southport (20 mins by car), it takes roughly 90 mins to get there by bus with one. This means that working 5 days a week, I waste 450mins (7 ½ hours getting TO work) when if I had a vehicle, I would only be wasting 1 hour. Luckily though, I’ve been able to keep busy with PhD readings, GRE studying, etc. On top of that, because of the timing, I can either get to work an hour early, or be late by 10 mins. Therefore, I also waste 5 hours of down time before I actually start my shift. With Queensland security industry standard pay at $24, I waste $120 sitting around at work before starting,

Now, I clock off at 0400hours every night. HOWEVER, the bus from Griffith University does not start running until 0550hours. This means I have to wait almost 2 hours before I can even get on the bus for another hour of travel before getting home; 3 hours total down time and home by 0730hours. Again, 5 days a week, that's 15 hours of garbage time wasted. So I wanted to experiment with taking the 24-hour bus from Australia Fair shopping centre, which is 4km away from Griffith University.

One night, I decided to walk the 4km to Australia Fair after my 0400hrs shift to catch the 0500hrs bus (24-hour running bus to Gold Coast airport) home. Lo and behold, I was home by 0600hrs and typically in bed by 0630hrs. Crazy and annoying that I can either wait for the bus and be home in bed by 0800 or walk 4km (usually takes me 40mins, I walk fast) and be home and in bed by 0630.

But I guess the better question is why I don’t just go out and get a car…

Anyways, just a random observation (and great workout!)

Until then,

Cheers!

-H

Life of a student actor.

I decided to try something different and get into acting. While I would like to say it’s a hobby, I feel it is something I would definitely spend much more time on doing if something better came from it (unlike my music); therefore, continual courses, films and criticism to help me become better at it. I mean, I’m already a pretty amazing bullshitter. So I told myself, get in touch with a talent agency and begin my quest.

Now something that needs to be mentioned in regards to Australian ‘talent agencies’; they aren’t what they seem. As someone from the US with a few friends in the entertainment industry and in some very high profile feature films, I’ve come to think to get into acting you needed to go to college and study drama/theatre for 4 years followed by doing some small/unpaid roles before getting into the bigger scheme of things. But then, when I came here, I saw all these advertisements from talent agencies looking for people both with skills and fresh to the new industry to represent them and find them work on TV shows, commercials, movies, etc etc.

I was excited when a company called ‘Blackbox Management’ and a representative from them called ‘Anita’ was willing to sign me on and represent me. The only concern I had was when ‘Anita’ stated they needed $180 to start up my web portfolio and get me listed on casting agent sites. I was hesitant but paid the fee as she had told me there was plenty of work out there for me, I just needed to be listed for casting directors to see. After three months of never hearing from her and continually being charged $10 a month for my ‘monthly profile fee’ I emailed the company stating to cancel everything and called ANZ bank to let them know to cancel and block all further debits from the company. I never heard from them other than the initial signing of my ‘contract’ and have found out that ‘Anita’ now works for ‘Showcase Management’ and that ‘Blackbox management’ is no longer a business. A couple of weeks ago, I continually was receiving calls from the company AND HER before putting them on my block list.

Then, about two months ago, I came in contact with ‘Global Talent Management’ and subsequently had a meeting at their office with ‘Danielle’. Again same story of which she had work they could get me, blah blah blah, but that they needed headshots for me as I did not have any. This time around, GTM stated they needed $260 for the headshots with their photographer, Chris Goode. I hesitantly paid, knowing I needed headshots but was content that GTM did not need any website fees, sign up fees, etc. I was also fortunate to meet Chris and immediately get all 300 of my photos taken that day without any watermarks added to them so that I could continuously use them for future use (of which they have been extremely useful). At first, Danielle would send out occasional emails looking for pregnant moms, families, that sort of work that did not apply to me. Then I received emails from her stating she was putting my name out there but getting work was hard because I did not have a standard showreel and would need to come in and get one done for $60 with Chris. I hesitated and decided not to, and for good reason. A few weeks having gone by without hearing from GTM or Danielle, I emailed her to have my message bounce back. Furthermore, GTM’s website was no longer operational and even Chris said he was unable to get a hold of her or the company. However, he did inform me that he believed Danielle was now working for a company called ‘Unique1’. Instead of attempting to pursue, I again kicked myself in the ass, ate my loss and moved on.

I guess the moral of the story is if it’s too good to be true it is and that if a talent agency is asking for money up front, they are usually a scam. Talent agencies are there to represent their clients and issue them work as they are looking to make commission off you if you succeed in getting work. Moreover, there are an ABUNDANT amount of talent agencies that all gloat the same thing: plenty of work, good pay and they want you NOW. Obviously before you go around signing up, do your research or ask around. Look at reviews from people based upon their own experience with these companies (even my own words of advice).

Since then, I’ve done freelancing work on my own and have secured over a dozen roles with Bond University, Griffith University, New York Film Academy, Viscaria Films, School of Digital Filmmaking, Queensland University of Technology and a commercial for Australian Private Hospitals Association), ALL in the span of two months and without any outside help of some 'talent agency'. Some of these have been paid and some have been volunteer work (as they are for student films) but it has also allowed me to cautiously talk to other actors in the industry and get a feel with what talent agencies they are with, if they have gotten any work through them and what they have to say about other agencies. As I always like to say, ‘the art of good business is being a good middle man’. I’ve learned this from Blackbox Management, Global Talent management and through countless actors whom have warned me regarding certain talent agencies on the Gold Coast that boast the same perks but offer nothing but a signed contract that is meaningless and ties you to a non-existent company that isn’t work for you. So on my own I go.

Until then,

Cheers

-H

When the time comes...

At times I wonder if anyone even reads this, since I rarely post or don't seem to do much that is exciting. At the same time, I have fallen a bit behind on them as well (Ahem Japan blog) But I promise to get all that caught up in due time.

In the meantime...

I came to Australia under the plan to obtain my masters degree in criminology and then return home right afterwards to begin looking for work and possibly re-applying for the FBI. They had led me on a chase of employment for 5 months of flying back and forth between the branch office in Seattle and in Pullman where I was living and working (5 hours away). After the 4th cancellation of interviews, I advised them I would be withdrawing my name from the interview and pursuing a higher degree and attempting to find out what I really wanted to do with my life and if a government field job was the right move.

While I was set to return home right after my degree finished in January, a little birdy put this idea into my head that I could potentially stay and pursue my PhD and open great opportunities for myself. So I decided to stick around, swap over to a work visa and pursue my options.

In the meantime, I have done nothing but work 35 hours a week and thus eliminating my social life and shunning all friends out as I spend my two days off recovering and getting whatever I need to get done before I hustle out anothe 35 hours. But the more I work, the more I realise I have a masters degree in criminology and I should be able to get far better work than your average person with a high school diploma. Especially since all these security jobs that I work will hire anyone and those whom I have worked with seem to be stuck in the job for years with no possible advancement or promotion. Now this isn't to say that I hate my job, as I have been in the security industry since I walked out of Pizza Hut and started working at Stubblefields in April 2008. Every job that I have held since then has helped me to become a better equipped person with the knowledge and skill set neede to work in any security industry. But there are better jobs out there for someone like me. Jobs such as the FBI, CIA and NSA are lucrative with benefits and travel all over and they are looking for people like me whom have traveled and have the education and experience to back it up. So you'd think I would be able to find similar work outside the US? Sadly, no.

As a foreigner NOT in my host country, I cannot get the work I want as I am not a citizen. I could go through the process of becoming a citizen, but that is equating to more time, money and effort on my part. Especially since I am on a visa, the same would apply anywhere else I go throughout the world. Get on a proper visa, try to get citizenship, then find a decent job. Therefore, my options here in Australia (or anywhere for that matter) are very limited in what I want to pursue in life.

Don't get me wrong, I can find security work just about anywhere here, but they don’t care what degree you have, they’ll hire anyone and there isn’t room for advancement, travel or promotion. I feel if I am to waste 7 years on school to obtain two bachelor degrees and a masters degree as well as put myself in 6 figure debt, I might as well make use of it and come back to proper job that pays well without the need for a visa or being limited due to regulations as a foreigner.

And while the PhD would be nice and padden the resume/experience with the possibility of having full grants pay for it, I feel I can do without it instead of spending another 3-5 years in school. The PhD may or may not add additional pay to my annual income levels, but it would further open up employment for me in regards to teaching, something which I have no desire to do. Overall, I would be getting the PhD because I'd be getting it for free or relatively cheap while I wait for further job opportunies to become available. Which is the reason why I pursued a masters degree in the first place.

Unfortunately though, I dread coming home, because I fear there may be work that I don't want or feel qualified to do and I will be stuck in the same rut a majority of my friends back home are in. However, I would need to come home to find that said work if it exists. At the same time, there are these jobs that suit me but they take 9-14 months before getting hired on as an employee due to background checks, polygraphs and psychological interviews. Therefore, I would be looking at coming home and working a mediocre job for 2 years before I get anything solid that I want. But in order to apply for these said jobs, I must be in the United States to do it.

Having said that, and after contemplating it for a few weeks now and discussing it with numerous friends and family, I have decided it is in my best interest to not pursue my PhD here at Bond University or anywhere outside of the United States for that matter but instead come back to the US to pursue a career position with my degree and get the ball rolling on the hiring process. While I can leave and come home anytime, I still have much traveling that I want to do (China, South Korea, Thailand, India, Europe) and so will wait until the holidays before coming home for good. Potential dates being from Thanksgiving to Christmas.

I still have plans of coming home in August for a few weeks to see family and friends and determine if this is what I really want to do. At this stage, I feel there is no further need to be here and just being here is preventing me from starting the hiring process back home with potential employers. Another option would be to pursue a PhD in the US but most importantly somewhere close to home suggested universities being WSU, USC or ASU (all have heavy focus on criminal justice).

But for now, this is the path that I feel is right for me. It may seem a bit hasty at the moment and as I always believe, anything can happen that changes that path. But I haven't been happy these last few months with what I am doing with myself whether it is because I am in the wrong career or that I just need to come home and get things started. Either case, it is time for me to change that and move on to something better and higher paying.

Until then, Cheers!

-H